Two weeks to feel the difference.

Jack, rugby and finding an outlet

When I was 20, my younger brother Jack was diagnosed with an incurable brain tumour. It was the hardest thing I had ever encountered. Knowing there was nothing we could do to fix it brought pain and mental torment that I didn't know how to process as a young man.

My older brother Dan and I felt we had to carry the responsibility of being the strong shoulders our family could cry on. We tried not to break or show weakness, even though we were dealing with our own grief.

I was lucky to have rugby and my rugby brothers. They were the people I could let my guard down around, and training and matches gave me a physical outlet for all the anger and negative emotion building up inside me. Without training, I honestly think I could have got into a lot of trouble. Weekend matches helped keep me away from drinking—although not always.

During that rugby season I started nine games in a row, scored tries regularly and, within about two and a half months, was offered a contract at Gloucester. I had always understood the physical benefits of training, especially after joining Truro College and following a dedicated strength and conditioning programme. Jack's illness taught me that training could support me mentally as well.

Preparing for life after professional rugby

During my playing career at Gloucester, an RFU representative regularly spoke to us about preparing for life after rugby while we were still playing. I had sadly seen teammates forced to retire through injury. You can be one injury away from the end of your career, and not everyone gets to retire on their own terms.

I kept asking myself what I was already doing as a professional player that could become my career afterwards. For me, it was everything connected to the gym. I loved the competitiveness of training and seeing improvements in strength, fitness, muscle mass and body composition.

I spoke to our RFU representative, Josh, about personal training and strength and conditioning qualifications. He introduced me to Ed Archer, a former Gloucester strength and conditioning coach from when rugby first became professional. I completed my qualifications with Ed alongside teammates Johnny Bentley and Tavis Knoyle, who have both gone into the fitness industry since retiring.

Once qualified, I offered my time for free at different gyms so I could gain as much real coaching experience as possible. Those gyms used different training methods, and everything I learned helped shape the way we now train at Awakening Strength.

Cancer and rebuilding myself

At 29, I was diagnosed with stage-four cancer and needed surgery followed by chemotherapy. The three-month cycle of chemotherapy absolutely wrecked me. It took away my strength, my fitness and the way I had always prided myself on looking. I became a shadow of my former self.

With incredible support from Brogan and my family, I battled through it. Once again, I needed training. It kept me positive and gave me somewhere to put the negative emotion. Without it, I don't know where I would be now.

I managed to rebuild and return to professional rugby, but my love for the sport was beginning to burn out. At 33, I had one final spell with Bristol Bears. My heart was no longer in playing, and I knew it was time to put everything into personal training and coaching.

From a single garage to Awakening Strength

I fitted out my single garage with equipment and began coaching from there while also working at a local group gym. I loved it. I had found a new passion in coaching and helping other people.

A year later, I invested in building a personal training studio in my front garden. That was where I realised the vision had to become bigger: I wanted to build a proper group strength and conditioning gym.

Over the next few years I wrote and tested all my own programming, improving it block by block. I met Joel and Serj through a local gym where I coached strength and conditioning classes. We trained together in my PT studio, became good friends and worked through the Awakening Strength programming, reviewing and improving it as we went.

Then a friend and client offered me the opportunity to use a space where I could build the gym. The build began. It was the vision I had carried since my Gloucester days: a big gym of my own where we could help as many people as possible, educate them, support them through their darkest hours and build them into stronger members of society.

Built from the ground up

It sometimes feels as though I manifested Awakening Strength, but the truth is that it took years of hard work and constant steps in the right direction. I met brilliant people along the way who helped me without asking for anything in return. Joel, Serj and James have all played important parts, and the support of my family—especially my wife Brogan—made the whole thing possible.

I know I'm not always the easiest person to live with when I've decided I'm going to achieve something, and I usually choose the hardest possible way to do it. During the build I sometimes wondered whether I should have simply rented a unit. But I'm so proud that we built this gym ourselves. It is unique and exactly how I wanted it to be.

Awakening Strength is here because training carried me through grief, professional sport, cancer, recovery and a complete career change. I do this for Jack, and for everyone who never got the chance to chase their own dreams and goals.

The journey doesn't stop here. We're going to keep building, keep improving and keep helping more people become physically and mentally stronger.

All hard work. No handouts.